Little Hands, Big Plans - Motherhood and Business

Cancer and Entrepreneurship: Why I am thankful for time freedom

• Emilia Coto • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Emilia shares her deeply personal journey following her mother's unexpected cancer diagnosis and how this life-altering event has shifted her perspective on motherhood, entrepreneurship, and what truly matters.

You'll hear:

  • How the science of motherhood legacies reveals that responsive parenting is passed through generations
  • Why entrepreneurship can offer the time freedom to navigate family crises without financial disruption or asking for permission
  • How our cultural assumption of guaranteed longevity often delays the experiences that matter most
  • The importance of creating meaningful moments now—through rituals, scheduled time, and capturing everyday memories
  • How faith provided her with grounding and peace during an uncertain and painful season
  • Ways to structure a business that prioritizes family and sustains income, even in times of personal upheaval

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast

Speaker 1:

Welcome to Little Hands Big Plans the podcast for moms who want to reimagine work after kids and build a life where family comes first, without giving up your dreams. I'm Emilia and I know firsthand how much motherhood shifts our careers, our priorities and our pace. But instead of seeing it as a setback, what if we saw it as an invitation? But instead of seeing it as a setback, what if we saw it as an invitation, an opportunity to design a life with a little more freedom, a little more presence and a little more fulfillment? Each week, we'll have honest conversations with moms who've shaped their work and business around what truly matters. Whether you're considering a career pivot, dreaming of a slower pace or just wondering what's possible, you're in the right place. So grab a little something warm, settle in and let's explore the possibilities together. Welcome to today's episode. I am doing things a little bit different. Today, I'm going to be sharing a little bit more about my personal journey, and this is not something that I was expecting to share about, but it's something that has had a profound implication in my life and it's also forced me to think about work, motherhood, life's priorities. In today's episode, I'll be sharing a personal family diagnosis and how it shifted my perspective. I'm going to share about a little bit of science behind motherhood legacies and responsive parenting. I'm going to share about why entrepreneurship provides critical time freedom during family crises, practical ways to be intentional with our time, starting today and finding strength through faith when facing life's challenges. Today's episode is deeply personal, but I feel called to share because what's happening in my life has forced me to reflect so much on my work and life in general that it feels important for others to hear about it and to just walk alongside this journey with us, if you feel called to.

Speaker 1:

Not long ago, my family received heartbreaking news and my mom has been diagnosed with plasma cell cancer, which is a type of blood cancer, and it's not something that we were expecting. If you know my mom, you know she is vibrant, she is healthy, she's active. It's just come as a complete shock to my family and has made us just realize what truly matters in life, and it has also made me reflect on my relationship with my mother, her legacy as a mother, and on the gift of time freedom, because this has all come at such an unexpected time. My mom is young, she's in her 60s, and so when I think about how she mothered me. I think about that as a big part of her legacy. And when people give me compliments about what kind of mother I am, about how my kids are so attached to me, I always think about my mom, because I didn't figure out how to mother on my own and I mother the way I do because I was mothered that way.

Speaker 1:

My mom was the most responsive, attentive, self-sacrificing woman that I've known, self-sacrificing woman that I've known. She would often go against cultural norms and follow her motherhood instincts, which has taught me a lot. She was an entrepreneur herself, but even while she was running her own business, she always made sure that we felt that family came first. That didn't stop during my childhood when I became a mother and I started my own business. Anytime I've had to travel for work, I've been able to do it because of her. She comes with me. She brings her laptop, her work, her presents, so that I don't have to leave my babies behind. We get to do life together and build all these memories, in part because of her work and because of that flexibility that she has. So I've looked into a little bit of the science behind that, because it's very fascinating to me, and it is backed by science.

Speaker 1:

So research from the Harvard Center on the Developing Child shows that responsive caregiving things like eye contact, physical closeness, gentle voice and availability is one of the most critical factors in a child's brain development and emotional security. In a fascinating study, researchers found that mother rats, who frequently groomed their babies, raised daughters who did the same when they became mothers. This pattern held true even with foster mothers, showing that nurturing behaviors are learned and modeled, not just inherited. Similar patterns also appear in primates, where affection and responsiveness create more nurturing mothers in the next generation. So how we were mothered deeply shapes how we mother, and the thought of that has just made me realize how impactful this role is, because it connects generations upon generations of mothers, and I feel deeply grateful to my mom for teaching me how to be a mother after two kids of my own.

Speaker 1:

So, even as an adult, I still feel that I'm constantly learning from her. I need her now more than ever as I navigate motherhood. She's the first person I call when I'm experiencing challenges, and this diagnosis having to confront her mortality has been really impactful because of that and has forced me to evaluate my life even more than I typically do, because if you know me, you know I'm pretty introspective. I like to think about things a lot, but this has been a huge shift. This season has made me deeply grateful for time freedom that I've been able to create through entrepreneurship. When I look at how I structure my work and life, I see, now more than ever, how valuable this flexibility truly is. It's everything. It's because of this flexibility.

Speaker 1:

When my mom had to get a second opinion, I didn't have to ask for permission to take time off. I didn't have to worry about losing income because I was going to be away for some time. I just packed my laptop, booked a last minute flight and we went. And this is going to continue right. Cancer is not typically a short journey and as we evaluate treatment options, I feel profoundly grateful that I can continue working and supporting her through the journey. I think everyone wants that type of freedom, because you don't know the timing. I would have never guessed I've structured my life in this way more because of my kids and how much they need me right now, not thinking that perhaps my parents, who are not that old, will potentially also need me, and I just feel really grateful to be able to have that. So this experience really reinforces why I believe business is a important tool for mothers to have. It allows you to protect your presence.

Speaker 1:

Mothers are often, more often than not, the caregivers in the family for children and, at some point, for parents as well, and when hard things happened and they will what you need most is the time freedom to be there, and also finances, because a lot of times I know when I speak with moms that want to create, that finances can often be a barrier and a diagnosis like this also comes with financial implications. In the US, where healthcare is often tied to employment, it's a big fear that can come from that, and in Canada, where the traditional healthcare is covered, there's still a financial impact because a lot of the alternative treatments that have a lot of research behind them are not covered, and so if you want to get the best care, it still comes at a financial cost. Care it still comes at a financial cost. So I want to also share some practical steps to create a little more time freedom if you are going through something similar or you want to spend more time with your kids. So if you're currently in an employed position, you can start to build a business on the side that could eventually provide time and location independence. You can also negotiate remote work options with your current employer. Since COVID, there's a lot more acceptance of remote work. You can also create income streams that will help you maintain cash flows during personal emergencies. If you start a business, you can start to build a network of support with other entrepreneurs who understand the flexibility and there can be some coverage depending on what industry you're in.

Speaker 1:

And another reflection that I've had and this has been weighing heavily on my heart, and it's our assumptions about time. We live in a world that assumes that we're all going to have a long life. We'll work hard now. Delay gratification is often praised. You finally get to live fully in retirement, but the truth is that we're not guaranteed longevity. My mom is in her early 60s. She's pre-retirement and she's facing this diagnosis, and statistics actually show that many people only live a few short years after retiring. We plan and save and just work, work, work, assuming that we'll get there, but none of us know the number of our days. When you think about your life from that perspective, what would you change if you were not guaranteed a long life, if you knew that you were going to die young, would you live your life in the same way or would you be doing something vastly different? Psalm 90, 12 says teach us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

Speaker 1:

So a few practical ways that you could be intentional now is to make sure that your family time is scheduled like any other non-negotiable meeting and that it is in your calendar. First, create small daily traditions that don't require some day thinking what traditions are special for your family. Document and celebrate everyday moments through journaling or photos. I have been looking at so many pictures of us together and wish we had more. I wish I wasn't always waiting for the time where I think I look good to take pictures, because it doesn't matter. It's just about remembering those times. Journal about how your work arrangements support your core values. Are you living in a way that reflects those? And make memories with the people you love? Because if we don't get a long life, we want to make sure we're spending our time well. We need to be intentional even in busy seasons, even while earning income to support our families, earning a livelihood should not require us to sacrifice the very, very precious time that we get with our family and motherhood is precious. Childhood is fleeting and time is fleeting. And then I want to close with. If you're close to me, you've been asking how I'm doing, what is helping me cope, and so I wanted to share a little bit more about my faith journey and how that is getting us through this season.

Speaker 1:

So, as a family, we're Christian. It's at the core of our family, and I don't believe that God is the one that causes suffering. I believe he meets us in it. I believe that he has the power to heal. I believe, believe that he is sovereign. So just because he can heal doesn't mean he always answers prayers to heal, although we will be praying that he does. But having that hope, we know that we are on earth for a temporary time and that this is not our forever home. And because of that faith, as hard as it has been and it has been very, very hard I can still hold on to hope for healing, for wisdom, for strength, for peace that surpasses all understanding. And something that we've been doing is, aside from our individual prayer, we also have a weekly prayer that a dear friend has been organizing to pray for my mom, and I've been practicing breath prayers. There's a book on this and so, essentially, you hold on to God's promises and you do calming breaths at that time, and usually I've been doing one daily so that it helps me calm myself when I'm feeling really anxious about the future, and so that's the main thing that has been getting us through just spending a lot of time together, being hopeful, being positive that this is going to be a struggle but a journey that can be overcome.

Speaker 1:

And so that's it for today's episode. It's really different than what you'll normally hear on the podcast, but I will probably continue to share a little bit about my family's journey and, more practically speaking, how this impacts my business, different lessons in faith and hope that we have. I want to encourage you, if you're currently facing something hard, to embrace your faith. Embrace the support of those who you have around. Remember that business can be used to serve the family's priorities. If you're still listening, thank you. I will be back soon with more specific business strategies, but until then, keep holding your loved ones close.

Speaker 1:

That's it for today's episode. Thank you for spending this time with me. I know how valuable your time is, and I hope you're walking away feeling encouraged to dream a little bigger about what's possible for your work and family life. If this episode spoke to you, it would mean so much if you shared it with another mom who needs this kind of encouragement. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and if you want to keep the conversation going, connect with me on LinkedIn. Just search Emilia Cotto. That's E-M-I-L-I-A-C-O-T-O. Until next time, remember, motherhood isn't the end of your dreams, it's just the beginning.