Little Hands, Big Plans - Motherhood and Business

Building a legal career while raising six sons with Amy Johnson

• Emilia Coto • Season 1 • Episode 20

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Amy Johnson is a mother of six, family lawyer and managing partner.  We talk about leaving an unsafe marriage, building a career from scratch, and how faith and community opened doors when plans were unclear. Her lived experience now fuels a distinct approach to family law, safety planning, and raising good humans across different paths. We discussed: 

• early life, independence, and love of learning
• staying home, daycare math, and coercive control
• the exit without a map and finding immediate help
• faith, church logistics, and “don’t shoulder check”
• safety planning, shelters, and community referrals
• mature-student tactics for law school with six kids
• hospitality as belonging and antidote to isolation
• Windsor roots, articling, and firm-building
• overnight shift to managing partner and operations
• parenting philosophy and valuing each child’s path
• practical hope for mothers feeling trapped

Link to get in touch with Amy at Johnson Miller.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with another mom who needs encouragement. Subscribe so you never miss an episode, and connect with me on LinkedIn.

For other episodes and resources, visit our website at https://littlehandsbigplans.co/pages/podcast

SPEAKER_01:

Today's conversation is with Amy Johnson, a mother of six, family lawyer, and managing partner of her own firm, Johnson Miller. But before all of that, Amy faced some of the hardest circumstances a mother can imagine. She left an unsafe marriage without knowing exactly where she and her children would go. She relied on her faith and her church community, and she managed to finish university and law school while raising six boys on her own. We talk about the practical side of childcare and survival through law school, and how those experiences shaped the way Amy now practices family law. She shares candidly about her parenting philosophy, what surprises her the most now that some of her kids are grown, and her best advice for mothers who feel trapped by circumstances. Today's conversation is about resilience, faith, and the power of not looking back. Welcome to Little Hands Bake Plans, the podcast for moms who want to reimagine work after kids and build a life where family comes first, without giving up your dreams. I'm Amelia, and I know firsthand how much motherhood shifts our careers, our priorities, and our pace. But instead of seeing it as a setback, what if we saw it as an invitation? An opportunity to design a life with a little more freedom, a little more presence, and a little more fulfillment. Each week, we'll have honest conversations with moms who've shaped their work and business around what truly matters. Whether you're considering a career pivot, dreaming of a slower pace, or just wondering what's possible, you're in the right place. So grab a little something warm, settle in, and let's explore the possibilities together. So, Amy, for those who might not be familiar with you, can you tell us a little bit about your story, your family, and the work that you do?

SPEAKER_03:

So I am a family law lawyer in Windsor, Ontario. I am the managing partner of a firm. We are a small firm. There are two partners, an associate, and several staff members. We practice exclusively in family law, which intersects with lots of other kinds of law. I am a law. I have six boys. I am not originally from Windsor in a transplant, originally from Manichopla, um, with a stop in Brampton and a stop in Cambridge before I relocated to Windsor permanently. I came down here for law school and just never left.

SPEAKER_00:

I was the same. I came to Windsor for law school, thought it was going to be a three-year thing, and I think the city has a way of pulling people in sometimes. What was your home like growing up, Amy? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Well, I grew up riding horses and cattle primarily. Lots of dogs and cattle. Started riding when I was two, went through different phases. Um, I was very into riding for a number of years, and then I kind of slowly got out of riding, drumming, and then it was dancing. I left home when I was 17 on the night of my graduation. I went roll and packed at my stuff and I moved into the big city and I never looked back. So I'm fairly independent. I got used to having to entertain myself and do things for myself because both of my parents were really busy, and my sister was eight years older than me. So we didn't have a whole lot in common. And I felt like an only child for a lot of the time. So I just learned how to keep myself busy and learn new things on my own. I'm self-taught in many things because you know, when you when you grow up and you're alone a lot, that's what you do. And before internet and before self violence, and you know, when you had to read a book. That makes sense.

SPEAKER_00:

I sometimes feel that it's so hard when kids are little to have them close.

SPEAKER_01:

But then I think about that and I think it's so much easier for them when they get older that they're gonna be able to play with each other and and have more things in common. Like you said. So I understand that you were in the legal world before you had kids as a legal secretary, and then you made the choice to stay home with your kids.

SPEAKER_00:

How did you come to that decision?

SPEAKER_03:

When I was in elementary school, sometimes the teachers will say, What do you want to do? What do you want to be when you grow up? And my answer was, oh, is I wanted to be a mom. That was really just my huge goal in life. My dad would say things like, I hope you become a lawyer because you like to argue a lot. I became a legal assistant because I was really after high school, I was kind of done with school. I had been in some form of formalized education since I was about two. And by grade 12, I was just exhausted. And so I couldn't imagine being in university for three, four years and anything after that. So my big idea was I will be a legal assistant. And then when I decide to go back to law school, I'll be in a better position because I'll have a better perspective. And I remember we had an articling student at the firm that I was at. And he said, Why are you doing this? You're smart enough. You could be in university, you could do whatever you want. Why are you doing this? And I told him why. You know, this was my great plan. And he said, You won't do it. You'll never do it. You're gonna stop and you're gonna have a family, and you're never gonna get back to university, and you're not gonna achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. And I just kind of parked that. My husband, he couldn't work in Canada because he was American. So he couldn't work in Canada until um he got his citizenship, or not his citizenship, but his permanent residency. So I was still working and I was pregnant, and then I took Matt Lee and he got his permanent residency and he was able to work full time. Once I had my second baby, and because I had my kids really close together, like my first two are 16 months apart. And so when he was going to be able to work full time, then it it didn't make sense from a financial standpoint. I had two kids. What I was gonna pay in daycare is gonna be what I was earning, and so I stayed home and he went to work. We had more kids after that, and with every child, it becomes less and less practical to return to work when you just have to pay for daycare.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

Do you feel that you would make the same decision knowing the hardships that you had to go through after? So you know, hindsight is always 2020. And you know, looking back on it, every decision was out of a level of coercive control that I didn't realize at the time. So staying all not having an income, and all of those things were all part of a bigger plan that I was just young and too naive to understand. Having said that, though, I would not change anything for two reasons. One, I really do think that there is a significant advantage to having one parent available. Two parents are great, but at least one parent as being the primary influence. And like from a child's perspective, like the family moral compass and all of those things, I got, I just I think that's really valuable. But also everything that I experienced got me to where I am. So had I at any point in time made a different decision, I may not have ever discovered my strength, I may not have ever gone back to law school, I may not have ever achieved the things that I achieved if there had ever been a change. So I wouldn't change a thing.

SPEAKER_01:

I really love that in your answer, you shifted it to your children's perspective because I think a lot of the times when the career question comes up, it only focuses on the on the mom or on the dad. And that is so true. They are such a huge portion of the equation. And a lot of the times, what is the best for them is sometimes not considered. So I yeah, I really appreciate how you answered that. And now, you know, in in family, when you're doing family law, if there is a mother that has a really strong career or or any career and wants to protect themselves, is that a common thing that can be done in Ontario?

SPEAKER_03:

Well, sort of, because whenever we're considering entitlement to spouse support, whether it's husband or wife with one of the spouses, one of the considerations that we review is the impact that that had on their career. And we do see in my line of work, we do see people, two people who had careers. And one of them made more of an income than the other. And when they started having children, they made this cognitive decision. You know what? Like you're making 50, I'm making 120. It doesn't make sense for me to stop my job. So I'll keep going, earning 120, and you can stay home with the kids. Now, maybe that's staying home with the kids for 18 months or two years or until they get to grade one or whatever. It's these are choices. But certainly when we're considering, first of all, and then quantum integration of spousal support, we do look at the impact on career. And also, I couldn't have planned for what a huge shift kids would be career-wise.

SPEAKER_01:

You have shared that threats and violence were part of the reason why you left your marriage. And I would love to know how that has impacted the way that you practice now and the people that you serve.

SPEAKER_03:

Where I come from just offers a different perspective. I consider that I have a pretty good bullshit meter. So whether it's men or women coming in and telling me their story, I like to believe that I can filter out those who are exaggerating or simply not telling the truth, and those who are legitimately victims in some way or another. So that's one way that it does it. But I'm not married to these people. So if a man or a woman comes into me and says, these are my experiences and they are legitimate concerns for lots of reasons, I have no emotional connection. So I'm able to be the backbone on days when they're feeling a little weak. I'm able to give perspective without emotion, uh, which is sometimes difficult when you're you can't see the forest for the trees and you're in the thick of it yourself. So part of the reason why I love to do what I do is because I really want I want to be for someone else what I needed for myself. And I was very isolated, I had no family in Ontario, I had six children. Part of abuse is making sure you don't have friends and you're isolated from the community and so on. And so some people just don't have a support system, and then the lawyer might be the first time that they are able to rely on someone other than themselves, and I think it's important that I respect that, but that they know that that's something that they can trust and that I understand. Not all my files deal with this. I have lots of files that are completely numbers and there's no violence, but I do think that my perspective has given me a unique ability in my practice.

SPEAKER_01:

I do agree, Amy, that that gives you a really unique perspective. And just because you've shared that publicly, clients are able to see what it might look like for them on the other side once they've gone through probably one of the hardest things that they will have to go through. I'm also wondering if you had planned for worst-case scenario when you did take the decision to leave, and how did the logistics for that look like?

SPEAKER_03:

One of my sons ran truck and he was a sprinter. This was all post-separation, but this is the best way I can describe it. His coach used to remind the runners don't shoulder check, don't look back, because it slows you down. And so that that's what I have done. So when things were going bad, or when we had these sort of pivotal right of force separation, where I realized, you know what, I'm gonna die if I stay here. I'm actually gonna die. He's been saying this for years, but now I finally understand that there is an actual verified risk that I will be dead. I didn't shoulder check, I did not look back, I did not even really have a plan moving forward. I just knew that I couldn't slow down. And there was like a series of events that happened in a in a short period of time, and I distinctly remember, so it was a Monday, and I took him to the airport because he was going to fly back to Manitoba for something. And I got back to the house, and the very next day I called my priest and his wife answered. And I said, Do you have anybody that might be able to help me move? I don't have any money, so I'm hoping maybe we can find some people with trucks and some guys that can help lift boxes and things. And she said, Why? What's going on? And so I said, Um, I need to move. And she said, Well, where are you moving? And I said, I don't know. And she said, When are you moving? I said, as soon as I can. And she said, Hang on a second. Uh, let me call you back. And the next day she called me and she said, Okay, we have a couple of trucks and a couple of guys, and we're gonna start moving you on Friday. And there's a family and they're going to Florida, and you can stay at their house while they're gone. And it just like God has a way of opening things up when you're on the right path. I really didn't have a plan when I left. I had to just trust that was the right thing to do, and that God will make a way. When I called the shelter in Cambridge, they said we we don't have the facilities to accommodate a family of seven. And I called Kitchener and I called Hamilton, and nobody had facilities that accommodate a shelter to accommodate a family of seven. And so I just that didn't deter me. I was still leaving. I just I didn't know where I was going, but I was still leaving. I still couldn't be there when he came back, and I didn't shoulder check, just kept running.

SPEAKER_01:

Amy, how did you explain to your kids what was happening and provide stability for them in that situation?

SPEAKER_03:

So as far as explaining to my kids, my my older kids were certainly aware of the danger in our situation. My oldest was almost 10. No, my oldest was 10. And he and my three older ones, you know, have very distinct memories. So saying we're gonna leave was actually quite a relief for them. It was kind of like it's about time, let's get out of here. Where are we gonna go? Don't worry about it. I'm working on it. You just have to trust me that everything's gonna be okay. I didn't tell them until I had already put some things in motion. I didn't tell them on Tuesday, we're leaving on Friday. I I waited until Thursday to say, okay, we need to like start packing up and this is what we're gonna do. As far as God opening doors, like I really do believe this. I really do believe that when you release control and you just have faith, that God puts you where you need to be. And it may look different and it may be very uncomfortable, but you are doing, you are on the right path. You are you are on the path that he has planned for you. So I really just had faith that we were gonna be okay. I'm also pretty resourceful. So I am talking to all kinds of different professionals. And one of my son's friends, Vaughn, who I had never really spoken to before, but heard, you know, that we were going through all this. She was like, you know, you should apply at the co-op that's, you know, next door because I think they have some right gear to income housing. And so I went in and talked to the lady and she says, Yeah, I'm really sorry. You know, we don't have anything. I needed a four-bedroom, right? And she's like, we only have a couple of four bedrooms, and you know, people usually don't leave. And I just kept looking. I was prepared to move into a two-bedroom apartment if I needed to. I just, we're gonna be okay. It's we're all together. And then I got a phone call, and she said that two four bedrooms came available at the same time. And there was a family ahead of me for like when you're in the co-op, if you have a three-bedroom and you ask to move to a four-bedroom, you kind of have priority. And so she said, we have two that have come available so they can upgrade to a four-bedroom, and there's one for you. I was number, I was high on the housing list because I was we were homeless. So I did get priority that way. But things that just weren't supposed to happen or that were very unusual just kind of unfolded. So two four bedrooms coming available at the same time was like historical.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03:

And it was just in time for us. And how that four-bedroom became available for April 1st, when the family was coming back from Florida a couple of days later, I mean, the timing is just it's divine. The timing was divine. I couldn't have planned that any better.

SPEAKER_02:

In your professional role now, do you help people going through something similar to safety plan and exit similar to what you had?

SPEAKER_03:

So it really depends. Again, everybody's facts are so different. I have some people whose families beg and plead, can you please just talk to a lawyer? And they come in with a family member and they tell me their story. And I'm able to tell them, understand that, you know, when you leave, you're actually more at risk than you are when you're there. Violence escalates as soon as they realize that they don't have control. They have nothing left to lose at that point because all they had in the first place was control. So once they realize that they no longer have control, things can happen that they don't even know that they're capable of doing. So sometimes I will do safety planning with people and I will just say, listen, if you're thinking about doing this, these are some of the things that you should do before you ever let him know that you're leaving. Or these are the resources in the community that you need to contact because they can help with more detailed safety planning. And um, they talk to hiatus house about whether or not there would be room for you at the at the shelter, contact counselors or social workers. I try to direct them to community resources. I'm not, even though my background is in social work, I'm not a social worker. I'm a lawyer. And so I can't counsel you in the same way that a counselor can counsel you. But I try to identify areas where they would need support and then direct them to that support, even if they haven't decided that they're gonna separate, even if you're on the fence and you're not sure and you still tolerate it, and he's lump bombing you or she's lump bombing you. These are things that you need to consider, and these are things that you need to be aware of. And sometimes they come back when they finally decide that they're gonna leave. And other times I never see them again. And I hope that that's because everything went fine and their life is great. But that's again, that's something that's a little different that I can be and offer that somebody else may not be as astutely aware of.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah. And and especially also the compassion from having lived it yourself and being in that position. When this was happening, were you already back in the workforce?

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah, so when I was pregnant with my last child, I knew that was gonna be my last child. And so even when I was pregnant, I was starting to think about okay, what are my next steps going to be? At the time, my husband wasn't working, he was on long-term disability. He's much older than I am. So I was already anticipating I was gonna have to be a breadwinner, whether we were together or not. I was gonna have to take on of the income earning potential. I was gonna have to return to the workforce. And I couldn't return to the workforce, you know, working for minimum wage. That isn't gonna feed a family of six, plus a husband. And so I started looking at like returning to university and getting an undergrad degree. And what could I get an undergrad degree in that would lead to a job and so on and so forth. And so in 2008, I enrolled at the University of Waterloo. We were living in Cambridge at the time. So I enrolled at the University of Waterloo, taking four classes. And when I first enrolled, I wasn't entirely sure what I was gonna do. I was considering perhaps being an English teacher, perhaps a social worker. I hadn't quite decided. They had been bad forever, but it was almost like somebody turned up the heat and the water was really boiling. And he did say to me that it was the beginning of the end. When you go to school, we're gonna end up breaking up. And I didn't quite understand what he meant by that. I tried to reassure him, no, this is a great plan. I'm gonna go to school and then I'm gonna be able to work, and like the kids are gonna be older, it's gonna be great. My youngest was two. So I'm thinking to myself, you know, by the time I finish my degree, he's gonna be in school full-time, I can work full-time. It'll be this is a great plan. But it was a genius plan. He just kept saying, No, you're we're gonna end up breaking up. And I really was so naive and confused by that. But that's exactly what happened because he started to lose control. He realized that once I became educated and I had a job and I was independent, I didn't need him anymore. He wasn't gonna have the level of control over me that he once did. And so the behavior escalated to the point where I realized he was actually gonna kill me. And he at some point I realized I was less impacted. Somebody can hit me, somebody can push me, throw things at me, choke me, whatever. Like my bruises are gonna heal, right? So then the behavior towards the kids just escalated. And he realized the only way to really hurt me anymore was by hurting the kids. And he said that is, I'm gonna punish you by hurting the kids. And it was through the education that this really all came to a head. And so when we separated in January of 2009, I was enrolled in four classes at the University of Waterloo. My academic advisor told me that I should just take the semester off, and I refused. I kept one class, crisis and coping, anyway. It was a social work call. And I thought that would help me get through that difficult period if I was also learning about how to cope with crisis at the same time that I was going through crisis. And so I finished my undergrad degree as a single mom with fixed kid, went to law school as a single mom with fixed kid. So my education was very unconventional. I really took the long way around. But as a mature student, I knew what I wanted. And I was really organized and I had excellent time management skills. And so my university experiences were just so different than everybody else's because I knew what I wanted.

SPEAKER_01:

What did the childcare logistics look like at this time?

SPEAKER_03:

So when I moved again, see, when I tell this story, things that shouldn't happen or the training of things, they're just so divine. Because when I started law school, my youngest started grade one and my oldest started grade nine. In Waterloo, I did like online stuff, but when I was at law school, it's in person. And so everybody was in school full-time. And my classes were when their classes were. I didn't have a class at eight o'clock in the morning, or I don't know, maybe I had a class at eight o'clock in the morning, but the kids were gone by 7:45. But they had class, I had class. I never had an evening class. I was finished my classes. I think my last class ended at four o'clock or something like that. But throughout law school, I never had an evening class. I worked when they worked. And when we were whole, we were doing whole things. So we were all doing our homework. Or I was helping them with their homework, and then I would go do my homework. And I probably didn't sleep. I honestly don't quite remember the details of how I survived law school because as a parent, like I just do what is necessary. I don't look back, I don't shoulder check, I don't complain, I just you just make it happen. And that's what I was doing. Looking back, yeah, it was law school. There's lots of reading, and you have to pay attention in class and all those kinds of things. I didn't have the benefit of a core study group or whatever. Sometimes people would share their notes with me. I just had a very, a very different law school experience, but I was also really organized and had again, I had these excellent time management skills. So I never went anywhere without my reading. So I'm at the doctor's office and we're waiting for half an hour for the doctor. I'm doing my reading. We got an assignment and it wasn't due for three weeks. I looked at it immediately. And I was working on it proactively because I couldn't afford to wait till the night before, and then my kid gets sick, and then I'm looking after my kid and not doing the paper. So I just, as a grown-up, I was in my 30s when I went to law school. So as a grown-up, I had figured out how to multitask and I had figured out how to get stuff done, even when it was hard. And I think some law students just don't haven't developed those skills yet. And so law school was really, really hard because they're trying to develop those skills at the same time.

SPEAKER_01:

One of the things that I remember about you, and probably a lot of people that maybe you didn't get to know as well, I think would remember you because you always would open your home. I remember you would always post in the Windsor law group, you know, if no, if somebody doesn't have a family for Thanksgiving and wants to come over, my home is open.

SPEAKER_03:

Can I say something about that? Because I'm gonna tell you when you're making a big meal, another potato is really not that big of a deal. Like my door is always open. My kids, friends, they show up for dinner. There's all its food. Like I'm I'm already cooking a big Week. So like it really isn't any extra work for me. And I think that the impact and the value that that has on somebody who's feeling lonely and isolated is far bigger than me peeling an extra potato. Law school, it's hard. And a lot of our colleagues aren't from Windsor. They were commuting from Toronto. And sometimes in the law school bubble, you have this imposter syndrome. I mean, we all went through it, but for some people it's it's prolonged. And you wonder why am I doing this? And am I really good enough? And you isolate yourself or you feel lonely because you can't be with your friends or family who have always been a really great support system for you. So to me, just being around another family and the craziness that that involves, I was hoping that that was going to help somebody survive law school. Why make it harder? Just be kind.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, I totally agree. Did you limit your job search to Windsor after law school?

SPEAKER_03:

When I came to law school, I imagined I was going to come here for three years and then I was going to move back to Cambridge. But when I moved here and went to law school, I started building connections in the community right away with the kids' school. I was on parent council of the high school. My kids were involved in sports. I found a church community. And so the idea of ripping them out of that stability for three years and taking them back to someplace where we no longer had those connections because we'd been gone for three years sounded like really unreasonable, like cruel. And so we made so many connections here that I said, no, I want to stay here. This is a good place. And this place has been good to me and it has been really good to us. And especially since my boys, some of my boys more than others, that all of my kids were involved in the community in some way, some in music and others in sports. And the proximity to Detroit and Michigan in general, not just Detroit, really gave them advantages that weren't available when you moved further inland to Cambridge or Toronto. And so I could afford to live here. And by living here, I could afford to offer my kids opportunities across the border without having to travel two or three hours to get there. And so I only looked for jobs in Windsor. I never was involved in OCIs. I applied strategically, and I never made it a secret that I was looking to be a family lawyer. Even when I applied for jobs at bigger firms that didn't have a family lawyer, I, and probably why I didn't get those jobs was because I said I really want to just learn all these things so that it can make me a better family lawyer. And I had to create articles because family lawyers weren't taking articling students. So yeah, I was here to stay and I was going to make a way to make it happen.

SPEAKER_01:

That's amazing that you already knew that you for sure wanted to do family law. How did your own firm come about? When did you decide that you were also going to be an entrepreneur?

SPEAKER_03:

It kind of starts way back when I was looking for articles because I really wanted to be in family and there weren't opportunities, as I said. So because of my connections in the community, my my former principal, Jason, he was also a basketball referee, and my oldest played basketball. And I had three different people tell me that I should talk to Jason. I was working at Legal Assistance of Windsor, and one of the lawyers there said, you know, he lost his junior. Maybe he has an opportunity for you there, you should reach out to him. And the basketball coach and then one of the other parents on the basketball team both said, you know, Jason's a family lawyer. He should talk to Jason. And it was the basketball coach who, unbeknownst to me, reached out to Jason directly and said, Would you just talk to her? And originally Jason said no, because I'm just going to be disappointed when I can't help her. And she's going to be disappointed when I can't help her. And eventually, apparently, the basketball coach is rather persuasive. And Jason agreed to just have lunch with me and said, I don't know how I'm going to hire you, but I'm going to hire you because you're going to make me better. You're going to help me be organized and you're going to help me with my time management. This is going to be great. And so I've I've been here. I articled, I was a junior, then I became a partner. And then in August of 2023, Jason was appointed to the bench. And so that is when I went from being a partner to a partner, but now I have to make decisions. Have you enjoyed that part of the journey? I like to learn. It was really overwhelming to learn the things that you need to learn about running a business at the same time that you are running a practice. Because running a business and running a practice are not the same thing. And I was very comfortable about how to run a practice. And running a business was a brand new philosophy. And it's so much information that doesn't come naturally to me. And I'm getting much better at it. But it was certainly a struggle. And I don't know if you know this, but when somebody gets appointed to the bench, from the moment the order in counsel is signed, they are no longer a lawyer and they're no longer allowed to give legal advice. And so instantly our lives changed because I had my own file and Tristan had his own files, and Jason had his own file. And then we worked on some files together that were primarily Jason's files. And instantly, Jason had no file. Instantly, all those files had to be divided up, or the client were gonna go to another lawyer or whatever. And so at the same time that we are adjusting to becoming Johnson Miller, we are also dealing with an increase of case load of about 50% each.

SPEAKER_01:

I had heard that the process was very the people don't even really know that they're gonna be appointed, and then they're appointed, and that's it. Yep. And that's it.

SPEAKER_03:

I don't mean that you do have some time to like wrap up your practice or whatever. You know, they might give you a couple weeks or something like that. But I mean, the reality is that wrapping up means a memo that says, this is what's going on with this file, but there's absolutely no, this is what I would do, or this is what I recommend, because he can't give any legal advice. So it's more like here's the history of the file. This is the last step, and this is you know the next court date, or you know, whatever. Dealing with that at the same time that I am, you know, dealing with a name change and share transfers and staff and salaries and benefits and bookkeepers and accountants and things that like accounting doesn't come naturally to me. You know, I didn't really understand accounting from that perspective before. I understood accounting from somebody does my tax book. And so it was just a lot, it was a huge curve.

SPEAKER_01:

And yeah, you're not just starting as a solo, you're also carrying a team, essentially.

SPEAKER_03:

So yeah, people are relying on us to keep it going. They need to make sure that they're that they can pay their mortgage or their rents or their cartoon or whatever. So I mean I I quite like it. I like the I like the flexibility, I like all of that, but at this it was just a bit of a learning curve.

SPEAKER_01:

Really good opportunity too, though, I imagine. In another way, I think we can see how things have worked out so great. And I and even when we're not realizing God's always working for our benefit, I think. What has surprised you the most now that your kids are adult about how they've turned out? What do they think about your journey?

SPEAKER_03:

A really interesting question. My philosophy, my parenting philosophy, my philosophy in life is that I just want to lead the world better than I found it. And as a parent, I believe how we do that is by like our children are our legacy, so we need to leave like good humans. That doesn't mean perfect human, it means a good human. And for me, like my my older kids who experienced life a little differently than my younger kids did, because my youngest, my two youngest were two and three when we left, and my third youngest was six. And he remembers certain things, but it's different than the two and the three-year-old. So my older kids have spoken about how they witnessed my work ethic and how witnessing that work ethic has impacted them. You know, somebody in my position at that time had plenty of excuses, and I didn't do that. I just worked really hard and I taught them that if you work really hard, you can achieve that which you seek. Of course, all of this is with the the undercurrent of faith. So they they actually articulate that. My younger ones had a very different experience, so they appreciate what I do. My youngest said to me one day, it was the first day of school in 2015, and he said, Mom, this is the first time that we're not going to school together. So in his mind, I had always been in school because I was in school when he was in daycare, I was in school when he started grade one. So when he started grade four, it was the first time that I was also in school. So they just have different recollections. I hope that while different, that they are all impacted by perseverance or self-motivation, like a fearlessness, independence. Like I'm hoping that they're all impacted in that way in their own time and in their own way. But that's what I'm leaving for them.

SPEAKER_01:

And one one of your sons has become a professional athlete as well. What has that been like for you, that experience?

SPEAKER_03:

So there was a lot of attention about that on me. And I just say, like, he did all the work. I wasn't at the gym doing the extra work that he was doing. I'd say that, you know, that's on him. But people remind me that it's not for me supporting and prioritizing his dream for him and for the other boys, that those things don't just happen organically. Like that it takes a supportive supplement, and for them it was me. I joke that I just I just kept him fed and alive, but I have come to accept that it might be a little more than that. But ultimately, you know, it's really just he's a professional athlete, but I mean as mom, like we just support our kids in whatever they're doing, or at least I I do. So he liked football and I supported him in football. And I I have a son who was told he shouldn't take academic classes, I should have very low expectations, and he had focus issues, all of these kinds of things. And I supported when he said, I want to go here, I want to do this, and I was just very supportive of that. And he's in a master's program in Germany, and he speaks three languages. So as parents, we just support our kids. You know, I tried not to put them all into the same bucket and say you all have to do the same thing. My oldest loved football and basketball, so I supported that. And my fourth played football but didn't love it, and played basketball and didn't love it, but he loved track. And so I supported track and I supported bowling. And, you know, this one wanted to play this instrument, and that one wanted to play baseball. And, you know, like I you I just supported them in whatever they were interested in, and I encouraged them to try different things because you don't know what you're going to be good at unless you actually try it. And so I just did that in hopes that you know they would find joy and they would find passion. And it didn't all have to look the same, but we all talk about Theodore because Theodore has reached a level of success that the media focuses on. But I did that for all my kids, and they are on different paths, and maybe their paths don't result in you know media coverage, but they're no less important, and they're no less special. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01:

For mothers who may be listening feeling trapped by finances, circumstances, or fear, what would you tell them? That's real, and you have every right to feel that when you're ready, the rest of your life is waiting for you. For today's episode takeaways, I have seven. Number one, don't shoulder check. Amy described leaving her marriage without a full plan. She relied on her faith and momentum of taking one step forward at a time. She reminds us that sometimes the most important step is simply not looking back. Number two, faith and community open doors. Her church literally made a way organizing trucks, housing, and support when no shelters could take a family of seven. Faith and practical help go hand in hand. Amy reminds us that it is not that much extra work to make extra food, and inviting someone to your table can make a big difference in someone's life. Number three, motherhood is a legacy of good humans. Amy's parenting philosophy is rooted in perseverance, independence, and faith. Her goal has always been to leave the world better by raising good humans and supporting them to reach their potential. You can do hard things. Amy did not let her difficult circumstances stop her from reaching, even when she could have made many excuses not to push forward. Her goals included law school as a single mother of six boys, and she has now used that in her life experience to persevere and push forward for a better life for her children. 5. Personal experience shapes professional advocacy. Amy is now able to bring her lived experience into family law. She offers both empathy and practical wisdom. Her firm, Johnson Miller, is in a very unique position to help clients that have gone through similar circumstances. 6. Every child's path matters. While one of her sons became a professional athlete, Amy emphasizes that each child's unique path, whether in sports, academics, or the arts, was equally worth championing, and that she believes that each of her sons' paths and achievements are equally special. And number seven, hope is waiting on the other side of fear. Her advice for mom to feel chat, your feelings are real, but when you're ready, the rest of your life is waiting for you. Don't shoulder chat. That's it for today's episode. Thank you for spending this time with me. I know how valuable your time is, and I hope you're walking away feeling encouraged to dream a little bigger about what's possible for your work and family life. If this episode spoke to you, it would mean so much if you shared it with another mom who needs this kind of encouragement. Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode. And if you want to keep the conversation going, connect with me on LinkedIn. Just search Amelia Koto. That's E-M I L I A C O T O. Until next time, remember, motherhood isn't the end of your dreams. It's just the beginning.